Well this makes sense. You could be forgiven for thinking things have been looking a bit apocalyptic out there lately and now the internet may have provided our best reason why so far, and you just have to love the creativity on this one. According to a now deleted thread on Twitter from what media outlets are awfully quick to refer to as a “scientist”, we lost a few years in the mix somewhere when we made the big calendar shift 268 years ago. That’s a thing we all know about, right? Different calendars as recently as the 1700s?
2020 Has Been 2012 This Whole Time
As the original Tweet in the deleted thread from Paolo Tagaloguin put it: “The number of days lost in a year due to the shift into Gregorian Calendar is 11 days… For 268 years using the Gregorian Calendar (1752-2020) times 11 days = 2,948 days. 2,948 days / 365 days (per year) = 8 years.” Which would mean that, “Following the Julian Calendar, we are technically in 2012…”
Holy shit! Somebody get me Woody Harrelson on the phone immediately.
The Ancient Mayans Still Might be Right! (If They Had Actually Predicted This in the First Place)
If you aren’t a big fan of the highly forgettable and terrible 2009 Woody Harrelson and John Cusack led disaster movie 2012, and don’t remember all the conspiracy theorists and weirdos getting excited eight years ago, consider yourself lucky. The basic idea they seized on was that the ancient Mayan calendar ended on December 21st, 2012, which they decided was prophesy for the date on which the world would end. Because even after thousands of years of evolution, we’re just a bunch of dumb apes who like shiny objects and believe in magic.
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The method of our destruction was a bit non-specific, as these things tend to be. The long theorized (I use that word in the loosest possible scientific sense) planet Nibiru, or Planet X, was a popular culprit. Global destruction from solar radiation, a sudden stopping of the Earth’s core, reversal of the magnetic poles, aliens, the list is pretty endless.
Of course when none of it came to pass in 2012 people had to scramble for answers. It couldn’t be because this is all nonsense, something in the numbers has to have been wrong, or something was poorly translated. This is why it’s always smart to put very vague details around the when and where of your messiah’s return or the end of the world when starting your own phony religion, conspiracy group or cult. Christianity nailed that one.
For those of you on team end of the world, the new date is June 21st, 2020, mark your Mayan calendars and get your affairs in order, that’s only next Sunday!
Choose the Form of the Destructor
The internet seems torn on its preferred method of our demise, should the Mayans and Twitter science prove correct and we’re really getting 2012’s world-end. Some of the leading candidates we’ve seen are:
- Nibiru finally intersects with Earth’s orbit, because we’d never spot a massive new planet an eight day journey away?
- Giant Meteor of Death. This one was a popular third-place in the 2016 election and could make a comeback. Bruce Willis is getting old and Affleck is washed up, who’s going to save us now?
- Gamma ray burst from the sun. Planet Hulk anyone? I gotta say I might be rooting for this one.
- Rogue black hole. Either we rip a hole in space-time with more of that fancy science of ours or one of these just opens up and swallows us. My money is on the stupid apes screwing something up.
- Super-volcanoes. This is what got Woody and most of the world in 2012 (spoiler). If there’s a realistic answer on this list this is it.
Personally, I’ve always been with Ray Stantz on this one …
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