Twitter User Shares Story of Insane NeoPets “Organized Crime Ring” as a Nine-Year-Old; Goes Viral

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Remember NeoPets? Of course you do.

Nearly 20 years ago, NeoPets was launched on the web which allowed users to own virtual pets and then buy them stuff using virtual currencies. It was basically the OG BitCoin.

Why does this matter? Well, a Twitter user who goes by the handle @everestpipkin shared quite possibly the second longest running Twitter thread in the platform’s history right behind a Chris Randone $KTOV stock analysis. The Twitter thread detailed his extensive NeoPets organized crime ring as a nine-year-old and it’s something. It’s far too long to post in full, but here’s how it starts:

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OK, so I’m already lost here and find it pretty remarkable that a nine-year-old could manage an operation like this while I messed around with Pokemon cards.

You can read the whole thread on Twitter, but this kid ended up starting a guild and basically running a NeoPets empire. Then he acquired other accounts which involved just straight up trying to guess random passwords:

This is great and all, but it was until 2002 when PayPal was invented that this mastermind began to make real bank.

The rest involves deceit, backstabbing, betrayal, AIM, a rogue second in command, illegal transactions, a murder-for-hire plot, a car chase, money laundering, tax fraud, and Carole Baskin. Here’s how it ends:

We were doing childhood all wrong.

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